23 truths

23 truths

Or to be honest, there is no “truth”. That’s what every person should discover before 23.

There is no truth because obviously it is subjective. Fused with our own beliefs and our own biases, what might be true to one, may seem false to another. And it also comes down to our basic definition of truth. But before I descend into deep philosophical questions on epistemology, I actually wanted to share some important realizations of mine.

  1. Plan. Learn how to plan first. If you don’t know how to plan your basic day, then how are you planning to have a successful life? No, not all things need to be planned, and it is a not a necessary element of formula for happiness, but it is an essential element of making things done and moving the world forward. So start planning now, regardless of age, career etc.
  2. Just do things now. Dishes? Just do them now. The general rule from all these productivity and success books is the 5-minute rule. If it is less than 5 minutes, just do it. Take out the trash, put your clothes back on the rack, email your colleague.
  3. Invest in quality pair of shoes and white basic shirt. There are just some things that make it or break it, and since first impressions tend to last, don’t let an old stained shirt or pair of worn-out converse ruin a fruitful acquaintance or potential love-interest.
  4. Read for pleasure. I am guilty of laying off my favourite classics and what-not and doing my political science readings instead (still procrastinating). Better to read a novel than spend hours on social media right? And hey you actually are improving yourself: widening our your worldview, enhancing vocabulary, improving reading skills!
  5. Learn a language. If you speak just one, you must learn another. Think of just how much more possibilities the world will have for you, how many doors will open! From my experience in Montreal I have really regretted not investing my time into learning a language. Just sign up for language courses at your school, or language academy. They always have discounts for students! And if you actually diligently do it, you will be able to speak and write in 1 year already!  How many jobs will a language give you? How many friends, experiences? On y va!
  6. Stop thinking what others think of you. Honestly. I know so many people and I am myself very concerned with my reputation. But you know what? There are like 8 billions of people on this planet… alright, there are 100thousand people in your city, and just not letting yourself do something because others will think badly of you is really not an excuse. You want to go to a gay club? Just go. Honestly, making everyone like you and appearing nice to everyone is a waste of time, because there is always someone who hates you, loves you or jealous of you. And for very different reasons. Just be you,  a better version of you. 🙂
  7. Know how to do basic make-up! To be honest, up until last year my skills in make up were worse than mediocre, but somehow I always thought I was good enough. I would clumsily put on a thin layer warm brown eyeshadows and one layer of mascara and to me it was “WOW!” but others didnt even see anything. But yeah, just having a polished look is always nice. I actually wear make-up when I go out and 80% of my time I am without it. But to each its own, whether it is 5 layers of foundation, or just a BB cream 🙂 I have an obsession with lipsticks though 😀
  8. Styling you hair. That I yet to have learn. But honestly when I look around women of age 25 and older, I see that they have their unique style, from hair to clothes. I am actually not the fan of routines, because I am just that kind of moody, spontaneous person, but having that one to-go hairstyle is always a nice addition.
  9. But apart from looks, how about investing into your self-development? Books, classes, learning a new skill is always a great idea. Don’t just think you are successful because you work as an accountant for EY (although  I think its quite an accomplishment). Pick-up a hobby,  learn how to do graphic design, or cook. Or fix tires. Honestly, there are some skills that nobody teaches you, but yourself. Or hard lessons of life LOL
  10. You are enough. You are worth. I just cannot even put this in words. But there were so many times that I just couldnt be on my own. And now that I am spending 2 months in Montreal practically living on my own, I have learned one important thing: I am enough [самодостаточность]. Honestly, I’d rather spend time by myself than with people whom I dont like. You don’t need other people’s opinion or validation to like yourself or just have fun. I can dance, go crazy, sing songs, watch anime, cook, do yoga at home without anyone and I am having so much fun! Hell, I went to movies by myself, to eat by myself, to another country (!) and to those scary networking events etc. Point is, dont feel like you have to be with someone all the time.
  11. Guys come and go. haha what a wisdom. But honestly, I always felt very close to my friedships but this year I learned that is much harder to balance your friendships and your relationships. No matter what, don’t lose your head and try to balance your life. Also another point is that you will have many guys approach you or not approach you, and the point is not to be overwhelmed by that. Stay cool, nice and polite like the awesome chick you are. Yeah, I used to overthink a simple text like “You should visit my city”. Girls give too much meaning to things.
  12. Declutter. Throw away things you dont use more than a year (because winter I guess…) or things you overused and they don’t work. You got it. Everytime i threw out or donated something , something cool would come to my life. (Haha of course, cuz I went to the store and bought it). No, but actually this law of balance works. Emptiness has to be filled with something 🙂 So if you want a good thing in your life, be ready to say bye to another! Same Law applies to people (in my life lol)
  13. Yeah speaking of the devil. Ohh… If I had a penny for every person I lost in my life, I would make like… 1 buck? I lost a lot. But that’s the thing with life. You lose, you gain. It is really sad and heart aching. I cried sometimes and now I smirk to myself. I guess that’s why I grew kind of cynical (but also naive apparently) and closing my emotions. The good thing is that each person teaches you something. About yourself. By losing a dear friend of mine recently I learned that I should be more responsible and reliable (and that goes oh so against my Gemini nature, you know us right?) But yeah, unfortunately that is how life is and I am not the type to force people. Some relationships require fighting though. You have to ask yourself if its worth it or no?

TO BE CONTINUED.

love

Это так странно, но сегодня я поняла, что иногда когда я испытываю сильное чувство любви, то что-то в  грудной клетке сжимается, наворачиваются слезы, и я чувствую привкус боли. Это так сложно описать словами. Но мне кажется, что я никогда не хочу отпускать этого человека, хочу отдать ему все, весь мир, хочу чтобы у него всегда все было хорошо. И все тело при этом содрогается и меня охватывает эта волна.

А потом все затихает.

Сегодня писала сестренке, маме и папе, и поняла как редко я себе позволяю to really get emotional. мне кажется я настолько vulnerable at that moment, что могу с легкостью потерять контроль над собой.

А еще бывает другое чувство любви. Без боли. Наоборот. Какое-то окрыленное, радостное. Когда слышишь хорошие новости от людей, которых любишь. И хочется прыгать от счастья. Искренне. Смеяться . Но и плакать в тоже время. И благодарить Всевышнего (кем или чем оно бы не было) за все хорошее, что происходит с тобой и с ними.

Это тоже самое чувство когда я прилетаю в Казахстан. Опять же грудная клетка сжимается. Словно выброс адреналина. Я понимаю как сильно люблю родную землю, несмотря на все плохое. Я слышу кюй домбры, я чувствую этот чудесный запах в горах, чувствую вкус маминой еды. That sense of love, gratitude, sense of security. It is undescribable yet so powerful it overwhelmes me and consumes me.

Я так безумно рада когда это со мной происходит. Особенно когда я плачу, что очень и очень редко происходит со мной. Я чувствую себя человек. Чувствую себя живой. Мне иногда страшно становится, что я перестала чувствовать любовь, стала циничной. Но эти моменты напоминают мне какого быть именно человеком. После постоянных “рациональностей” кажется, что твой мозг “прокачался”, а вот мышца сердца наоборот очерствела, атрофировалась. Но нет, она пошевелилась! Ох. Это чудесно. Даже если больно.

Не знаю. Не подумайте, что я мазохист, но именно это чувство боли , знаете not pain, but ache, в сердце оно наверное самое мощное и лучше всего напоминает мне, что я еще могу чувствовать.

А еще говорят, что злость очень сильная эмоция. Я ее тоже редко испытываю. Могу беситься, но это не злость. И мне кажется, что это даже полезно порой злиться. Когда можно покричать. А я даже в горах иногда не могу покричать.

Мне кажется в современном обществе чувства стали undervalued, а рациональность overrated. Мы позабыли про то что чувства и эмоции гораздо более искренние. И если уж они вырвались наружу , то их уже не спрячешь, как допустим можно спрятать какой-нибудь мотив за фальшивой улыбкой.

Так что эту неподкупную искренность, чувства, нужно ценить.

Я хочу выразить свою любовь к моей маленькой сестренке, хочу чтобы у нее всегда все было хорошо. Выражаю свою любовь к маме и папе. Пусть у них всегда все хорошо, душевное спокойствие, гармония, счастье.

И всем другим людям я этого желаю.

 

loving-kindness

loving-kindness

 

like a mother feeds her child

i want to care and nurture

and alleviate all of the humanity

of suffering and panacea

of burden of cyclic existence

of karma and all that comes with it

but would it be wise? i stop and ask myself.

 

mother’s love is endless to her child

but she cant shield the child from all the pain

since pain makes us grow and realize

that clinging, craving binds us to this world

cultivate your loving kindness to souls

to creatures , plants, skies, wind, rain.

 

in this quest for love,

how have we confused the feelings with objects?

we chase love by the wrong tail,

self-validating through objects and other beings,

forgetting to contemplate on ours souls,

to cultivate love, to meditate.

To love and nurture all that is in this world.

 

Poem inspired by my Buddhism class and my own reflections. What are your ways of overcoming cravings and desires? Do you ground yourself in reality, mundane problems, career, money, house? Do yourself a favour and meditate. It really helps to calm the tumultuous mind. Be mindful.