Roaring 20’s

Day-to-day, we are so obsessed with all these club activities, duties and tasks, midterms, papers, job. Another mental full to-do list. How many have you checked so far?
We are so consumed in this life. Continuous river flow. Only to come back home by 10. Hungry, tired. Hungry for food, for love and appreciation. Hoping to see a lovely and familiar see. But in reality most of us, 20-year old students, are lonely and exhausted. Someone told me it only gets worse.
So why can’t we just take some time off from our busy schedule for friends and family? Someone invited me for a dinner tomorrow and I said yes because I genuinely care about these people and want to see them more often. I would also like to take some more time and go see a concert or listen to an opera. I really like music and I wish instead of getting dinner my friend and I could go to the local talent show or see Varsity game. “They are so lame, they suck” I hear instead. But isn’t it still better than to be stuck in your house, watching Netflix and consuming carbs just to slip away from reality of four walls and excessive room decorations? All to fill the emptiness inside.
It’s not bad to be single. But having a close friend or a partner in life makes life so much better. Less stress, more support. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies, but at least you know that at the end of the day someone actually cares. And when you really know you love this person you can prioritize. And maybe there is no need to go for that Foreign Investment Club or Crafts?
This is the reality of 21st Century. We are lonely. We put ourselves out there to be judged in pursue of love and recognition.
Some my friends usually stop being active on social networks when they start a relationship but as the relationship progresses and they don’t have much to “discover” in their partner and become confident in relationship – they go back to social networks but this time in order to attain social respect and approval. Picture of fine dining, gifts and glamorous looks – what are people trying to showcase? There is nothing original about it. People just want to live according to social norms in their circle. NO one wants to be a loser, an outcast, an alien.
I sometimes find myself in the same situation. I post things on Instagram. Usually because I’m bored and I like playing with filters but at times it’s to reassure myself, remind others of my existence, show them I am doing something interesting. It’s normal. Within limits.
20’s. It’s time to explore yourself. To live life to the fullest. Yes, these silly cheesy quotes. Most of us are trying to make a living, pay our school loans. I find myself both lucky and guilty to be in a better situation where I don’t owe anything to anyone. Thank God a millian times for that. A million times that I don’t have to bow to anyone and I don’t have to pretend to be someone else to be liked by people.
So this brings me to another question. This existential crisis. Catharsis. What do I want?
I want to be love and be loved. I want to be successful. I want to accomplish my goals. Money matters. I want to live in a large house and not worry about spending money on food or clothes. I just want to be financially stable and independent. But also more importantly I want to be independent in life. One thing I always admire in strong and successful people is that no one ever tells them what to do (except their Mom). I want same for myself. I don’t want to be told or commanded. And the rest will just follow.
But in retrospect of all things. I am happy now. Happier than before. There are things that need to be done. A lot of them. But that only inspires me. I am enjoying my studies. I love learning new things. I’m exploring and challenging myself. Because if not now in my 20’s, when?